The inaugural SUPA intramural basketball team fast-broke their way to a one and three record after last night’s final game.

After leaning heavily on front-running MVP candidate Mike Clust for scoring throughout the four games, the mostly-bearded warriors were ecstatic to get production from Matt Hanka. Hanka scored six points in the third game, all of which by a marriage of the skyhook and the traditional jump-shot, which simply had to be seen to be believed.

Post players Yani Vozos and Patrick Lewis provided hard-fouls and occasionally missed lay-ups, while Adam King led the offense. King routinely looked like he’d downed a case of Red Bull before the games, confusing defenders with his sheer energy.

The first game was a time for the players to shed off the rust, and the SUPA team fell to the first of its two mercy-rule fueled losses. However; the team would improve each game.

“That was the first time I’d shot a ball in two years, so it was a little tough going to start,” said Todd Schartung, who utilized an underhand lay-up not before seen in intramural play.

The second game was close, with SUPA routinely mixing their ten-plus players to wind the other team. While this strategy worked early, as SUPA stars like Clust tired, the other team was able to run up the score. Patrick Piuma and Josh Rivard provided tough defense on the wing and superior moral support.

“After the games I look like I just got out of a swimming pool,” Clust said. Kareem Usher, the team’s other point guard, took several games to get down his outside game, but was fierce to the hoop. Soccer star Ismaila Odogba had some trouble adjusting to the no-feet style of basketball, but his height was invaluable.

Equally useful was the energy from Patrick Andrade and Karl Keeling, who were members of the team used to running for extended periods of time. While most players would be huffing and puffing when substituted, Andrade was just as cheery as before the game started.

The final game was a forfeit, bringing the SUPA team out of the winless bracket. “We are such a great team that we won without even playing. Not even the 'Jordan-embedded' Bulls achieved that,” Usher said. Carrie Beth Lasley shifted roles from player to coach, providing a strategic advantage over the other, non-coached teams.

Special thanks to SUPA for funding both the team’s registration and buying shirts for the players. - story by Patrick Lewis

Back row: Yani Vozos, Matt Hanka, Josh Rivard, Ismaila Odogba, Mike Clust, Patrick Andrade. Middle row: Patrick Lewis, Karl Keeling, Adam King, Patrick Piuma, Carrie Beth Lasley. Front: Kareem Usher